This may sound very simplistic, but if / when you come across a lady you like, how about just approaching her and asking 'I really am interested to know you better, would you pray about it?'
That isn't creepy or distespectful.
The happiest Christian couples I know, got married after a relatively short period of knowing each other.
It was the guy who approached the woman, expressing his serious intentions. No games to get her attention.
Moonlight, if you are happy with a non believer that is of course your right. There is nothing Christian about that; it's contrary to all the articles you have been posting here to teach and warn others..
Yes, single motherhood is common today.. and still, many single women find love and marriage. They are no less worthy of love just because they have kids.. but women without kids are worth loving, too - even though we don't have kids to prove our feminine skills.
And not everyone is looking for money.. the ability to love is what matters.
(I have had relatively wealthy men to approach me, irl and on line, and I was not interested as there was no compatibility in faith or personality-wise.. I am not looking for a sugar daddy)
I for one know to cook, bake, clean, do gardening etc.. and a host of other 'traditional' skills, as well as other interests.
All that is not an automatic way to attract someone.
Very true that things cannot be forced, thst's why all the talk about women being 'picky' is just so laughable. Many women would be happy to try a relstionship, but we cannot - and should not - try to force or manipulate men into it.
Mutual attraction does not guarantee that it leads to a connection, if one or both get petrified by the very idea of saying 'hi'..
Attraction can be toxic too, and stem from a wound or dysfunction that is not healed yet.. and the pattern would continue in any relationship if the person(s) do not realize it.
Thankfully, God has blessed my life with some wonderful Christian brothers, who know how to treat their sisters in Christ.. happily married family men, who arent' looking for concubines or side chicks, but can be there as support and encouragement. They give me hope there are some godly men still.
Disappointment and rejection can really cause heartbreak.
Which does not help to foster healthy interactions.
I do get anxiety and depression due to loneliness, I really do - but as said, as a woman, I cannot drag a man out of his cave against his will. Too often, ladirs try to be too accomodating, putting up with mean behavior snd red flags in hopes to fix the 'wounded soul'.. but usually that does not lead anywhere good, the guy may enjoy the attention, but not want any commitment. Trying to be his mama is not a foundation for a healthy marriage.
Plus, my experience is, if I show any interest, friendliness or encouragement to an avoidant, tentative Christian guy, he ends up running for cover and / or showing some passive aggressive behavior ( one bachelor pastor almost throwed objects around the room)
No friendliness in return, nothing normal.
It is sad that most churches don't have any structure or protocol in place to help singles to meet each other with serious intentions.
Not sure about SAfrica, but I lived in one non Western country, where marriage was encouraged and my friends at church would gladly been there to facilitate a meeting, had there been a potential someone ( and him showing interest, as was the cultural norm)
Talking pf pickiness.. the other side of the coin, of course, is that many got married to someone they could not live with, and ended up divorced.. sometimes after horrific custody battles, abuse, smear campaigns and so on..
It is worth it being picky enough to pay attention to red flags.
Had I got my choice of a man years ago, I might well be divorced by now..
.. and then people might say 'you should have chosen better'..
Plasma Physics/Cosmology just an atheist alternative to the debunked atheist Big Bang Model
Posted : 15 May, 2023 11:08 AM
It was actually a born again Jew, a well known scientist Dr James Tour, who mentioned GS during a lecture ( as a response to someone asking sbout the age of our universe)
I am not mathematically gifted, but I do know that time & matter are connected, and this time is relative.
It's funny to hear guys talking of women and 'prince charming'.. I don't know anyone, who is waiting for perfection.. or anything so unrealistic.
What we do hope and pray for, is simply someone to have a loving relationship with. Based in kindness and the Lord as the center.
Men often assume women did have hoardes of suitors when we were young. In reality, there were no more men around when I was young - not the kind who wanted commitment and marriage.
As for everything else, yeah, always a lot of that - but thank God, since I got saved, I was able to avoid those pitfalls ( predators seeking just sex)..
Even as a believer, I did not have tools or wisdom to recognize toxic patterns and issues, so I was attractes and emotionally drawn to Christian but dysfunctional and unavailable men .. Looking and sounding very spiritual dors not equal reliability or trustworthiness.
Probably was at my peak at 35 and onward, but again, no men willing to have a relationship in the circles I was in ( church or academia).. a few men I was interested in, did nothing to pursue me, or show any friendliness. They had the typical no talk policy, common in the Finnish culture...
Plenty of staring, gawking etc.. but not one word.
Incidentally, they are still single although surrounded by women.
So I would not put the blame at the so called feminists..
Men are to do their part too, and not expect a woman to drag them to the altar by force. It is supposed to be a mutual project..
Many lovely girls have become jaded and exhausted, due to disappointments .. which is not an excuse, but it can happen.
In the last 10+ years, there has been just a handful of Christian guys that were kind, friendly, open and able to interact with women in a mature and pleasant manner. I am talking about normal communication, such as talking in a classroom, preparing food for a church event & mskung music together etc.. not dating, just fellowship.
They were all much younger than me, usually from very loving families, and/or had spent time abroad as a part of a team, so they knew how to relate to women as sisters in Christ without antagonism.
