The whole 'you have to test drive the person first to know if you have suitable chemistry' argument is really the outcome of being desensitised to immorality.
When there is genuine attraction and interest, you don't have to second guess it. It comes through every form of communication. being in the same room is electric. My goodness, it cannot be stopped, even by walls.
That is not something you have to try to conjure up by artificially creating scenarios..
Secondly, it amazes me when people think that a casual hook-up is any reliable indicator of anything, Most likely, it's a stressful situation. As a woman, I'd feel very vulnerable and anxious - not sexy or happy at all. So how would that give a genuine 'reading' of any chemistry?!
Hi brother Streetevangelist, welcome -and it is nice to see someone looking for a single, never married girl, instead of an 'experienced' woman that the majority of men these days are after..
Just one observation: that part about personality types .. I would urge you to trust God instead and now get too stuck on some tightly defined category. You know that *all* personality tests are man-made, and highly fallible, right?
They can give us some general idea about ourselves and our temperament, abilities and weaknesses, but often change during our lives, as we change and grow... I know that I was more of a melancholic-sanguine in my younger days, and now the choleric characteristics are 'coming to light'.. and I am sure there are days I am more phlegmatic
The same with the letter combination categories... INTJ etc.. people are seeking answers with them, but they can make things more muddled.
What I mean is, as God's people, we should not get stuck under any other yoke than His, but rely on His leading on our calling and gifting
Thank you for posting, sister Psalm621. That's a breath of fresh air.
I read a lot about this search for 'traditional' women. Men idolising and idealising a certain type, or lifestyle - without understanding that each woman is a person, an individual and their own life story.. which often includes heartbreak and traumatic experiences ( just like you shared, Psalm).
Very few of us grew up in a perfect, protective bubble to mould us into that ideal that some men are looking for... and I am reading testimonies of girls and women, who *did* grow up in that lifestyle, and they are now saying it was abusive and toxic.
Just like Jinger Duggar Vuolo, for example - she is openly sharing that God opened her eyes to the many ways those teachings she grew up with, were non-Scriptural and pure superstition. She maintains her Christian faith and personal walk with God, and is happily married to a real Christian man.. someone who encouraged her to seek the Bible for herself.
It seems many conservative men expect the woman to have compassion and support for their struggles and heartaches, but are not so willing to offer that same in return.. fellas, life can be very hard for women as well!!
No matter what we do as women, we can get criticised - by the society, by our peers and by other Christians. Why haven't you achieved this or that yet, why don't you have a career / why do you have a career etc... Someone always can find fault.
As someone who is currently my parents' caretaker ands very little energy for other things (but I am doing what I can), I am far from the ideal modern feminist woman.
That sure has not brought the right man to my door... even though I'd love someone to share my life with and also help my parents in their housework occasionally. LOL.
I have also traveled and lived alone in different countries, so that may make me untraditional in someone's eyes... even though I have been a Christian for over 30 years.
It is all about perceptions and assumptions.
Instead of looking for a traditional woman or girl, how about praying for someone, whose life story, faith walk and personality can fit with yours? God knows the best option for each of us.
I know this is 'Ask Men', but as a woman, I get it, too.
Maybe not explicitly, but it is implied - that if you aren't hooking up, you're flawed and defective, and missing out.
The media is full of stories from women openly sharing about their sex lives, seeking to 'liberate' other women from their shame and hang-ups. (Thanks, but those services are not needed - I do have a healthy body image and will be fine, when God gives me a husband)
It is openly stated that the more partners you have (had), the more desirable you are.
Sadly, the same mentality goes on in churches. Those women who were married before / had sex out of wedlock and got pregnant, easily find husbands. Sometimes they do tend to look down on us never married singles and even brag about their 'experience'.
