General female standards.... especially high value females
Posted : 13 Jan, 2024 12:56 AM
No in general, it's worse the higher value the woman has but all woman in modern society expect more from men than most can actually give.
Almost all woman today are higher maintenance than they should be either because of men in general having less capability due to the results of feminism or the facade of social media making them think that the new high standards are more common than they actually are.
It's the same effect economically, the straighter, whiter and more of a man you are... the less opportunities you have which accumulates over time.... over time the percentage of men that cannot find woman that are interested in them increases due to the combined constraints of less opportunity and inflating standards.... and at some point this leads to a collapse of some kind which it seems is coming sooner than people like to think.
Already you have men increasingly openly being disgusted with woman in general to the point of hating them.... soon the little empathy or sympathy left for woman from men will reach a point where violence starts becoming more violent. It's in concept basically like telling a hungry person that the food he requires is too good to waste on him while you keep putting it under his nose so at some point these people form a mob and loot the store.
It's cause and effect not morality. It's all fine and well to expect a man to have a certain level of income but if you block him from actually getting it as well as giving the woman more help than she deserves so she makes a higher level of income than the man while still expecting the man to have one higher than her.... there is no way such a strategy does not lead to hate and violence.
Now if you try to maintain this strategy by ridiculing the man for noticing how unfair the situation being imposed upon him is and insulting him for reacting negatively to it.... you don't shame him into silence you throw fuel on the fire. This is especially true given that testosterone is involved which makes him naturally aggressive so he fights back in whatever way he can rather than submit purely due to hormonal drive.
But much of that is besides the point to a degree. Point is.... in a era of men declining in value because of female standards that they have managed to get put into law in many ways.... woman still keep inflating their expectations of what an average man should be. It's not a game most men can actually play because they automatically get disqualified.
So where have all the good men gone? Increasingly they did not even get friendzoned they got spat on as unworthy of even being men.... and it's getting worse.
General female standards.... especially high value females
Posted : 13 Jan, 2024 07:04 AM
I did find my solution as it seems. I am a traditional woman in all ways except I don't want kids, I am now 35 and I am "full figured". I found a man without that many options, someone who has been rejected by other women, but still hasn't given up. I chose someone in his 40s who has spent his 20s and most of his 30s just figuring things out without really aiming for dating. Lately he has been looking for a wife, but has had some unfortunate interactions with women in his church. He is just looking for his peace at this moment, and I am providing him with that.
I make $17.000 more than him a year, and I cook, clean, own a car ect. If we keep on dating and get married I will probably relocate to him because my job is more flexible, and he will be the leader of our household. I will respect him and be my best self so that I can be happy in the relationship as well. He provides me safety and protection, and he is a great conversation partner. He likes me for who I am and finds me cute. If that is sufficient this might be a solution for women who have too high standards to find a man these days.
General female standards.... especially high value females
Posted : 14 Jan, 2024 10:48 AM
Hi NotSettlingYet.
I like hearing that you're fighting back against your hypergamist nature. I hope and pray that it works out for you and your possible significant other. I assume this is the same person you mentioned in another forum thread.
Hypergamy is not a bad thing as long as it's not taken to the extreme or utilized after marriage. I see hypergamy in the same light as the need for men to spread their seed everywhere. They're both natural tendencies that need to be tightly controlled.
Anyway I would also like to mention that later in life your hormones will change, your feelings for your significant other may also change. You might start having a lot of negative feelings about him. You may even think you've stop loving him and start blaming him for a lot of things that aren't his fault. Hypergamy may rear it's ugly head and you might convince yourself that you've outgrown your husband and that you'd be better off without him. That's menopause talking.
If and when that happens please seek the Lord's guidance to get through it. It's not an easy time for anyone and is the cause of most marriage failures later in life. Sadly very few people talk about that elephant in the room and married couples are left to fend for themselves.
General female standards.... especially high value females
Posted : 14 Jan, 2024 11:54 AM
Yes I understand. I am being cautious about this as he has been mentioning how I "have everything" and he feels like he can't contribute that much. I am currently focusing on building him up verbally by telling him what he has, because it is a lot. I got to see his heart. He is ambitious in his own ways, he will always be a true gentleman because of his upbringing. He has a solid relationship with his family. He has friends and a right mind for christian family through church. I love his mind. He is so nerdy and funny. I also know he will decay, and so will I. If I couldn't laugh with him so much I think I would have been more scared of the future. We can talk without arguing, and he is respecting my views, but clear when he disagrees. We talk about a lot of things, and if we agree on what town to live in, things can start rolling. (I offered to move, and he is kind of offering back...)
General female standards.... especially high value females
Posted : 14 Jan, 2024 02:01 PM
" I am being cautious about this as he has been mentioning how I "have everything" and he feels like he can't contribute that much."
Men have a God given drive to provide for and protect our wives and children. So for some making less money then his potential wife might be an insurmountable hurdle for his ego.
" I am currently focusing on building him up verbally by telling him what he has, because it is a lot. "
Be careful with that because if ever out of anger you throw his perceived shortcomings in his face it will only serve to make things worse. It's really no different if the roles were reversed.
Men see things in a very black and white manner so the simpler you can make things when you reassure him the better. So no complicated explanations unless he asks for them.
One big word of caution. If you see him as a project you can turn into the perfect person for you then you're setting the both of you up for failure. Chances are all of his short comings will persist throughout his life. He may be able to hide them for awhile but they will eventually reemerge.
General female standards.... especially high value females
Posted : 15 Jan, 2024 07:18 AM
I don't think our relation is perfect, but it is potential. He is definately not my project. He is a 42 year old man who can make his own decisions. He say that he would want my advice on things like what outfit to wear, and decorating in his apartment ect. But I won't allow him to be dependent on me in those areas and stop making his own decicions. If we at one point get married and he leaves for work before I get out of bed, I won't get up to choose his outfit. I might teach him some cooking stuff, but he has so much life experience, and skills that I don't have, both with computers, from books, history, movies, music, and other stuff. I also figured out that he has some investments in the stock market. I don't know much about that, but he tried to explain how some of them failed, but he has some still that could potentially not fail.
He is the one setting up clear boundaries for when we meet on Friday, and also he is the one who will decide the pace moving forward. He is clear on wanting to take things slow.
