Someone had the concern in feeling the need to message me privately to tell me that I am"blocked" since I am separated and in his opinion should not be on here.
I believe my profile makes it very clear what I am and am not on here for.... as do conversations with others.
Before judgement be passed, perhaps we need to reflect on what may constitute marriage in God's eyes, not the law which takes time to manage in the most Godly way scripturally as well in this world, especially if trying to do it without lawyers as much as possible on limited income.
Conversing this way for me.... is a safe way to get over my jaded views of the whole idea of considering moving on, thus the healthy distance.
I am open to discussing this here if people wish... in all kindness and gentleness please, as I am aware I am in no way the only separated person on here.
I am also interested as a new person in what a wink means to everyone, ane what adding a profile as a favorite means to others?
Someone who is separated IS still legally married. Because the Bible clearly states that Christians ARE subject to the authority of the government, I would argue that they are still married in God's eyes, as well. And I would even venture to say that pursuing (or intending to pursue) someone romantically of the opposite sex while still legally married would constitute adultery. And I'm not an attorney or legal expert, but I'm fairly certain that it's illegal to enter into marriage with someone else while you're still legally married (in most states anyway).
If you're on here just to chat, that's one thing, but in reading through your profile, you've detailed out what you're looking for in another spouse. That would indicate to me that you're looking for a romantic partner.
As far as winks go, I think the majority of us don't think that they adequately express much of anything... If someone is truly interested, than he (or she) ought to take the time to send a message.
I agree with what Pixy posted above. Separation is still married until your final divorce decree. Even after obtaining this, MOST people are not ready to be involved in another relationship right away.
This is part of the TERMS OF AGREEMENT that you agreed to when you signed up.
4. ELIGIBILITY
BY USING THE WEBSITE OR SERVICES, YOU REPRESENT AND WARRANT THAT YOU ARE SINGLE (NOT MARRIED), DIVORCED, WIDOWED OR LEGALLY SEPARATED FROM YOUR SPOUSE, ARE AT LEAST 18 YEARS OLD, AND ARE OTHERWISE LEGALLY QUALIFIED TO ENTER INTO AND FORM CONTRACTS UNDER APPLICABLE LAW. This Agreement is void where prohibited.
It is what's best for those members who are "separated" and those members who are divorced. This rule is for the "protection" of each group of people. Here's why:
- a member here may find him/herself in an unanticipated predicament when a non-member-spouse subpoenaes the member to court to testify in a divorce hearing or custody battle
- a divorced member could also discover himself/herself being CHARGED WITH ADULTERY (in some states) or being sued for Alienation of Affection (again, in some states)
Whoa ladies... as said my profile is very clear.... that any romantic stuff is way down the road, and that I have been legally separated for 3 years. Canada law and US law must be very different.
Please note the terms that you copy and pasted state legally separated.... and when you are separated legally, pending divorce due to adultery.... using my being on this site for discussion and conversation only as adultery is preposterous.
Thanks for your thoughts... no longer needed... my Lord is my validation. Blessings to all.
The Lord loves a pure heart. One that is sold out to Him. He is a jealous God. God needs to remain #1. Sometimes as we travel through life, we can find ourselves in some pretty strange, uncomfortable seasons. During these times, since we are human living in a fallen world, our natural senses become alive, and we will respond out of the natural. Our natural mind clouds over our spiritual being if we are not spending intimate time with our Father in heaven. I am so sorry that your husband has found another lover outside of the marriage covenant, but dear sister, that does not give you the freedom to do the same thing by searching after another lover by spending time on here. You may say you are just looking for a friend, but search your heart. Deep down you are playing with fire. In this desert time, I strongly suggest that your time be spent searching after God, letting Him speak to you, to show you what areas you need to change to save your marriage and to grow up in HIm. We all have areas in our lives that we need to change. He is working on me all the time. YOu will not be able to hear Him if you are dabbling in sin, playing with fire. sometimes during our desert experiences, the enemy will twist the scriptures, and before we know it, the scriptures will say something else to our heart, and we will have then made up our own version of who God is, making up a false God. His scriptures stand. They do not change. He holds His Word up. My heart goes out to you, because if you choose to continue searching on here or elsewhere, you will go through a fall, and it will be very hard to come back out of that fall. And not only will you be sinning, but you will cause another to sin right along with you. You will then be responsible for two. YOur whole life will be changed for the worse, and it is so hard to come back. Playing with fire can be fun and exciting for a while, but it always wrecks havoc. Many Christians, including evangelists, have fallen hard due to this temptation. Please, dear sister, do not go down that road. The Lord loves you. He hugs you with His strong arms. He wants to woo you into His presence. YOu are so young, and have such a long life to go living with regrets that can affect every aspect of your life. And I guarantee it, the enemy will throw it in your face to condemn you the rest of your life. Please. Don't go any further. Let the Holy Spirit lead you. Don't let the devil push you. I speak over you that through this situation, He will draw you unto Himself.
Hi i am one of those people u seem t b condeming for being legally seperated and on this site.
This site is also looking at friendship not just love.
The reason i chose seperation instead of divorce is becuase it was the only thing i could control in the relationship breaak down and the fact that i was the innocent party in the break down. I also feel at present even tho i wouldnt want t get back with him i married him and therefore have to go with the smooth and rough and i made a promise till death do us part and by my bad choice in a man i am condemed to live with that however i should b free to make friends on this site wether i b divorced or not
I am not as you said "searching after another lover by spending time on here", and am surprised that you think you may know another one's heart. You said I need to spend time with God "to show me what areas I need to change to save the marriage and to grow up in HIm. I assure you that has been done continually. Saving the marriage is not a possibility. I am not dabbling in sin sister, but thank you.
You also said... "if you choose to continue searching on here or elsewhere, you will go through a fall, and it will be very hard to come back out of that fall. And not only will you be sinning, but you will cause another to sin right along with you. You will then be responsible for two".
Again, my profile is very clear. I am not playing with fire, I have been living totally single, albeit with Jesus for almost 4 years now... with no seeking at all. That has been a very conscous choice to stay completely away from that possibility, and be completely one with my Lord and Savior, who continually woos me so to speak.
I have seen others go down that road of havoc, and am not naive enough to say it won't or can't happen to me, however, I have placed much protective factors against that. Particularly my convictions, and my relationship with my Lord.
Again, my profile is very clear about that too, and this is the only site I go to... and in all honesty have considered going off many times due to lack of interest and time. I am still not seeking partnership or dating, just talking long distance across countries for safety and comfort, and conversation here and there about spiritual things.
I don't think it's fair for anyone to speculate and ridicule you on why you are separated and seeking divorce, but from what I read in your post, your reason for being separated is forgivable by God. As stated in the bible, it is acceptable in cases of abuse and adultery. People who have never had to deal with the break up of a marriage should never point a finger as they never know what could happen to them. We live in a broken, sinful world where people hurt other people.
I was separated for 4 1/2 years before I was finally able to obtain my divorce and I know that God does not look down on me for my divorce as I made the mistake of marrying someone who was a non-believer (I wasn't really sure that I was a believer at the time) and it ended. Through the death of Jesus Christ, we are forgiven for our sins as long as we repent.
I also joined this site prior to my divorce being final, but here in Canada the law states that you are legally separated after living separately from your spouse for 12 consecutive months so you are not breaking any rules by being on this site. That being said, I do believe God has kept the right person from meeting me until after I was able to obtain my divorce (and then some).
Long story short, I don't think anyone has a right to judge anyone else because we will ALL be judged when we get to heaven and none of us is any less of a sinner than the other. Do what you feel makes you happy as long as you are following God's will for your life.
