Christian Chat Forums | from boy to young man - CDFF | Online Community of Single Christians

Login Create New Account

Author	Thread: from boy to young man
Admin	from boy to young man Posted : 25 Aug, 2009 01:56 PM hello my fellow brothers and sisters. i have a 12 yr old son that is going through the changes from a boy to a young man. his body is changing, growing a little fur (lol) hear and there. lately it's been tougher because his uhhum 'manhood' has been waking up at full attention lately. i tried to explain to him that is completely normal because he is changing from a boy to a young man to just leave it alone and it should go back to normal size. but this morning he said, 'mom, i don't understand it. i bathed last night, but this morning 'it' was sticky. i told him we will discuss it later. the truth is, i didn't know how to handle it. can someone please help me with this? i don't want to embarrass him by having my brothers or brother-in-law have a talk with him because then they will know what he's going through. i rather get the information and opinions from you guys and pass it on to him. also, if you know of any scriptures that will help me explain to him to respect his body when or if he gets any urges and to maintain his virginity until marriage i would really appreciate it. i can not rely his father to give him the appropriate information because his dad isn't a believer (though he claims to be) and lost his virginity at the age of 12 years old. if anything, he will encourage our son to do whatever. he's is going to the 7th grade at a public school for the first time ever. he has always been in a christian school. so you know i'm a wreck right now. so please, please, please advise me. thank you so much. God Bless, Zoe :angel: Post Reply
View Profile History	from boy to young man Posted : 25 Aug, 2009 10:54 PM I would advise NOT talking to him, by anyone, about his natural body functions. Nothing will 'freak' him out too much and he will just figure all that out by himself. CBD.com probably has a book on sex, lust, and porn that is written in age appropriate language for him. Call them and find out who the authors are. Then go to BIBLEBB.com and do a search on the authors to be sure about them. I just read that kids 7 - 8 are now exposed to porn. Yikes ! And they will not filter it out on library computers. Sad ! Post Reply
tristan07 View Profile History	from boy to young man Posted : 26 Aug, 2009 02:50 AM girl, as a former youth pastor, yeh alex was a youth pastor, imagine how off the hook that was... anyway, it's no big deal. joseph is 14 now, daniel is turning 11, I raised them right. thier mom and I agreed on everything about how to handle all this stuff, we stuck to our guns, and they will be fine. you don't need a load of bible verses to slap on him, they just go in one ear and out the other, trust me, I saw it happen for years. I ended up just giving the kids a biblical world perspetive instead of feeding them bible verses. When you couch the truth in reality, oddly enough, it rests better. If you need deffinitive advice about this or that, how it all works, just let me know, you know where to find me. But don't fear, just give him time to grow and learn, kids have been growing up for thousands of years, aint nothin new. but we are all here if you need us. capishe? Post Reply
kdhny11 View Profile History	from boy to young man Posted : 26 Aug, 2009 09:26 PM This is why I personally believe that girls and boys should be SEPARATED from each other from 7 to 12 grade, just like we used to do. We were so much more wiser back then. No wonder there is rampant teenage pregnancy and children are struggling in school. How do you concentrate on geometry when your hormones are raging and that cute girl or boy is sitting next to you? It is absolutely insane and contrary to all common sense and wisdom. My advice to you as a man who went through the horrors of puberty is to just laugh and let him know it is normal and nothing to worry about. The worst thing I think you could do is give him reason to be embarrassed. Also, I think 1 Cor 6:12-20 are good for him to study and discuss, especially verses 18-19. Let the emphasis be on the concept of our body as a temple of the HOLY SPIRIT and what this might mean. Post Reply
View Profile History	from boy to young man Posted : 27 Aug, 2009 04:27 AM thank you all for your wonderful and very helpful advice and suggestions. i knew i could count on this community to help me out in this situation. May the Lord continue to bless you all. i appreciate and respect you all very much. Zoe Post Reply

joyinthemorning View Profile History	from boy to young man Posted : 29 Sep, 2009 10:52 AM It is good to hear from another mother of a "growing" boy. I remember people telling me to answer his questions but only as much as he asked for. To give them detailed information before they are ready for it can be overwhelming and embarrassing for them. I have just made my son feel like he can ask me anything and when I am stuck I send him to a few men in the church that he is close to and admires (one being his youth pastor). It is helpful that they have male roles models that they can talk to because after all my son tells me that I am a "girl"...They do figure a lot of it out on their own, but unfortunately sometimes well meaning peers also help?! We can only give them to God and pray for them, be their for them and love them. Good luck from one growing mom to another. Post Reply
niceguy7856 View Profile History	from boy to young man Posted : 9 Oct, 2009 07:05 AM Good morning, I�m fairly new to the site and saw your post and it brought back some nostalgic memories of my own son. I�m a fulltime single parent to a son who is 16, (but looks like he�s much older). The way I handled the situation in question was to just mater of factly explain to him, (when he was 11), what was going to happen to his body in the next year or two and the common things all boys share and go through; i.e. the morning "flag pole" and that it goes away pretty quick and he will get others at times when he isn�t having any sexual thoughts, it�s just his body preparing for the time that God brings the right lady into his life at some FUTURE date. I explained �wet dreams� the same way. It�s his body insuring everything will work correctly when that time comes and it is a normal thing that all men go through, (most guys will tell you the greatest fear at that age is wondering if you are �normal� having a wet dream and it is a great comfort to know other guys your same age are going through the same things as you are). Once I was sure he understood that much I just told him if he had any questions I was there for him to answer them and not to worry because he was ok and no different than any other guy his age; just a bit taller and more developed. He�s been ok with my explanation and I still occasionally remind him that God gave us sex as a gift to be used only for that one special person He brings into our life to marry and it should be treated that way and not just given away to everyone. He surprised me by saying �I know dad, I�ve had chances but I want to wait to make it special�. Just goes to prove the Lord can work through anyone; even a bonehead like me. I hope this helps. All the Lords best to you�Dan Post Reply
View Profile History	from boy to young man Posted : 10 Oct, 2009 06:31 AM Wow I can certainly relate went through this with my son a few years ago.Soo awkward especially for a singe mom.Just talk to him,be honest.Yeah be careful about getting some one else to talk to him.He'll just get more self consience.Do not remember specific bible verse.That helped.Just LOTS of prayer. :) I am sure as a single christian mom you are very familiar with....Dear God father pleassse be with me so I do not mess this up...!Sounds like you are on the right track.Will be praying for you on this one. God Bless! Post Reply
Happy2222 View Profile History	from boy to young man Posted : 11 Oct, 2009 06:28 AM A must read for everyone, especially single moms is Bringing up boys by Dr James Dobson. Post Reply