So Many Single Mothers?

Posted : 2 Feb, 2009 10:47 AM

Hello, my name is Jenny

I am a 32 year old single (divorced) mother.



I am glad that you brought up this point because I had some concerns about what men might think of me being a single mother on a Christian dating website as well.



I think first, I will change my single mother status to divorced since that is an unclear choice of words.



And second I will say that I am divorced...and for seriously legitimate reasons. It took me three years to come to a place where I would agree to divorcing my ex-husband because I believed that once married there was no turning back no matter what. I stayed with my husband for years even though I was being mistreated until the day that a group of people at church read to me in scripture where it stated that if a spouse mistreated you in certain ways...habitually, then it is okay to divorce them and move on.



To be perfectly honest, I have wanted nothing but to have a good warm safe healthy marriage where there is kindness, honesty, and loyalty... for me and my children...and was nothing but loving loyal and kind to my spouse during my marriage...but it does take two to make a marriage work.



I never thought in a million years that "I" would end up a single divorced mother. I always KNEW that I would do whatever it takes to make a marriage work because I am by nature a very kind giving and loyal person...but living in the pain of a marriage where you are being mistreated and feeling hurt and betrayed is too much for any person to endure. I know that God wants happiness for his people.

I know that God wants his people to be loved and cared for, and especially by thier own family.



One great thing that did come of the pain that I experienced though divorce...is the fact that I would never again allow myself to be involved with a man that is not exactly where he needs to be spiritually NOW.



I think a lot of woman allow themselves to get involved with/settle for a man that is MOSTLY what they want/need...and assume that naturally a man will grow and change emotionally and spiritually over time...and become exactly what it is that they need and want in a man. And unfortunately, that is not always the case. So I have learned from my mistakes that I MUST find a man that is where/what I need him to be now...not someday.



And what I want and need is a man that is a STRONG MAN OF GOD...that is patient and kind and chooses to do the right things NO MATTER WHAT comes his way. A man that can lead his family, treat them with respect and kindness, and do what is best for everybody...not just himself.

A true Christian man.



Because the other thing I have learned is that unless a man is what you want and need to him to be...then how can you respect and love him the way he needs to be loved and respected...in order for him to return that love and respect to a woman....if you get what I mean:glow:



Thanks for taking the time to show your concern

and may God Bless You in ALL that you do.



-Jenny